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相談されることはもっと評価されるべき – オタクの息子に悩んでます | Exception Code.
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Exception Code.

iPhone、Macと読書が大好き。iPhone・Mac・書評を中心に好きな事を書いていました。今は『ほーくブログ』でブログを書いています。

相談されることはもっと評価されるべき – オタクの息子に悩んでます

      2012/12/15

人生相談は知的格闘技である

と帯にもある通り、人生相談の回答を出すというのはとても難しいと認識しました。相談は「解答」を出すべきと思っていた僕にとってはなおのこと。

本書には11の「思考ツール」と呼ばれる、相談に回答するための補助輪が記載されています。

1.分析
2.仕分け
3.潜行
4.アナロジー
5.メーター
6.ピラミッド
7.四分類
8.三価値
9.思考フレームの拡大
10.共感と立場
11.フォーカス

P.136,137

相談は1.分析と2.仕分けで「相談者が何に悩んでいるか」を知ることから始まるといっても過言ではありません。全く見当違いのことを答えても何の意味もないからです。

たいていの人は1と2の段階は「やらなきゃいけない」ことがわかっています。ただ、そこから先を知ることに本書の意味があるわけです。

 

妥協点を見つける

…昨日考えたことと今日考えたことと、明日考えることは違ってしまう。

なぜ人は、答えを一つに決められないのか。人間は三つの極の間で動くからです。

だから、暫定的に今日の回答で我慢するしかない。今日考えた「今日の最善の回答」しか人間は出せません。「これから一生使える考え方」などというのは存在しえない。

パラメーターが変わればいくらでも変わってしまうからです。

P.198,199

ここは読んでいた僕の心が軽くなってしまいました。

簡単に結論が出せる相談もありますが、ほとんどの悩みは完全な解決をすることができません。それは人間が人間に相談するということしかできない現状では仕方がないことだと思います。

ただ、それを和らげることができたり、相手に対して別の道を考えてあげることができたなら、相談への回答は大成功だと思います。

相談が「知的」格闘技である理由は、それのような気がします。

 

自分も学べる

本書は、実際に朝日新聞の「悩みのるつぼ」で掲載された悩みと回答が載せてあって、著者の岡田さんが、その悩みについての思い出を語っている場面があり、そこでは岡田さんの苦労や苦悩、時に後悔を見ることができます。

そして、次の相談ではレベルアップした岡田斗司夫が登場しているのです。

これを見ていると、相談を受けることというのは、受けて投げるだけじゃなくて、違う方向に投げる選択肢もゲットできるものだと感じました。

うーん、やっぱり知的だ…

 

相談されることはもっと評価されるべき

相談されるってのは、なんでも話ができる友達だったり、人生経験が上だったり、頭がよさそうだったりする人が経験できることなのですが、この機会っていうのはもっと評価されてもいいのじゃないかと思っています。

少なくとも「こいつには何を聞いてもムダだ」と思われてないわけで。

案外「相談される」ってのは人を引き止める上でも重要な要素だと思っていて、会社などの組織でも、立場が上でも相談するに値しない人の元には付いて行かないわけです。

査定の中に「1年で何回相談されましたか」という項目と足してもいいくらいだと思うほど。

バイトの店長とかにしても、給料の値上げの相談だけされるってのはかなりヤバイんじゃないと思います。

そんなわけで、結構話題になった本なので書評もたくさん出てるのですが、自戒を込めて書いてみました。

 

目次(Amazonより)

誰よりも面白い答えを
相手と同じ温度の風呂に入る
難問を解いた先に見えた、マイナスの世界
壮絶な悩みほど、解決の糸口はみつけやすい
愛がある答えとは
相談者に腹を立てた
なぜ悩みはるつぼ化するのか
思考ツールを使ってみよう
思考ツール応用編
悩みのるつぼ・メイキング

 - 書評

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